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Blogger, gamer, proud blond and overall former transgender geek chick!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Before Julie, Part II

You can read Part 1 of "Before Julie" here.

The earliest I remember in feeling I was wrong was when I was a little boy around the age four or five during my Kindergarten year.. In fact, I think I remember the exact moment I had a female experience. As a young boy, my dad was in the Air Force and during the first experience was when I was living on Sheppard Air Force Base in Wichita Falls, Texas and it was one of the days that my dad had to drop me off at the base's Day Care Center and like all of the usual things that are done at daycare, such as watch movies, play with blocks, draw, take naps, etc, it was this one particular day that I decided to play dress up with some of my friends that I knew from the time I spent at this daycare. What I wore wasn't really that strange I guess for little kids to wear and at first I just wore a really over-sized jacket which was more of gender-neutral clothing, but as we continued to play I decided to dress like a girl! I put on a big feather boa, some big pink sunglasses, a yellow shirt, a pink tutu and some red high heels on... I felt amazing; I saw myself in the mirror and I just knew it felt right!!

I was a cute little boy, huh?
I swear I must have stayed dressed like that for a good 45 minutes before I took them off and I only did so because at that time my dad decided to pick me up from daycare and to say he was not pleased is an understatement... of course, I'm sure he doesn't even remember this incident but I distinctively remember him being angry with me for "dressing like a girl" and yelled at me the way home explaining to me how wrong he felt it was... I know this is not only wrong because there is no reason at all to be so harsh on a young child, but it also sets a precedence for discrimination against gender roles and responsibilities.

Some people might think this is just kids being kids, but it was much more than that. This exact moment impacted my whole life on who I am now... I'm not saying this is the only moment in my life that defined my transgenderism as there are probably ten key different experiences I've had that define who I've become. Now, I'm not trying to say that every boy or girl who does this is transgendered, because that simply isn't true but what I am saying is that parents should never discourage a child on being who they want to be unless it puts their lives in some sort of physical harm or legal trouble. I would never expect my own children to be someone they wouldn't want to be and would never pressure them to conform to some sort of image that I think they should be.


Julie Schippnick