The earliest I remember in feeling I was wrong was when I was a little boy around the age four or five during my Kindergarten year.. In fact, I think I remember the exact moment I had a female experience. As a young boy, my dad was in the Air Force and during the first experience was when I was living on Sheppard Air Force Base in Wichita Falls, Texas and it was one of the days that my dad had to drop me off at the base's Day Care Center and like all of the usual things that are done at daycare, such as watch movies, play with blocks, draw, take naps, etc, it was this one particular day that I decided to play dress up with some of my friends that I knew from the time I spent at this daycare. What I wore wasn't really that strange I guess for little kids to wear and at first I just wore a really over-sized jacket which was more of gender-neutral clothing, but as we continued to play I decided to dress like a girl! I put on a big feather boa, some big pink sunglasses, a yellow shirt, a pink tutu and some red high heels on... I felt amazing; I saw myself in the mirror and I just knew it felt right!!
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| I was a cute little boy, huh? |
Some people might think this is just kids being kids, but it was much more than that. This exact moment impacted my whole life on who I am now... I'm not saying this is the only moment in my life that defined my transgenderism as there are probably ten key different experiences I've had that define who I've become. Now, I'm not trying to say that every boy or girl who does this is transgendered, because that simply isn't true but what I am saying is that parents should never discourage a child on being who they want to be unless it puts their lives in some sort of physical harm or legal trouble. I would never expect my own children to be someone they wouldn't want to be and would never pressure them to conform to some sort of image that I think they should be.
Julie Schippnick
I'm glad you found your way thru the awful thicket of personal and societal questions and fears around cross-dressing and transgender. As a boy, I loved dressing like a girl, too - as a young adult I had a lot of fun doing drag on special occasions, and to a minor extent I still like a little dressing as an old guy. I did have the choice to follow my inclinations and sexuality throughout my life, tho there were some dangers and some discouragement, I always felt I could do what I wanted. As it turned out, I chose to life as a boy, a man, and to make my life, my family partnered with a woman. I hope we're building a society that will allow children to express themselves and be themselves and that they will choose to be multifacted, unique and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt is unfortunate that your father reacted that way. This likely had more to do with his upbringing and taught discrimination against those who break conventional gender roles than anything else. Asking why a child behaves a certain way will help both parent and child understand themselves and each other. I am at the very least glad that you are breaking the cycle of intolerance towards a group of people who are not understood. In your case it is transgendered people, but the same rules of acceptance for oneself and others should be applied across other perceived social barriers.
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